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Talking with your child about the hospital |
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Talking with your child about the hospital |
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There are many ways to help children prepare for an overnight stay in the hospital or a procedure. Parents often ask for information about how to talk with their child about the hospital. Many wonder when the best time is to tell their child about going to the hospital. This page offers suggestions to help you prepare your child for a health care experience.
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- Tell your child that he or she will be going to the hospital for an operation, test or procedure.
- Let your child know that you feel the hospitalization, procedure or test is the right thing to do. Children can usually sense how a parent feels about a hospitalization or a procedure.
- Choose a quiet time to talk.
- Use a calm and relaxed tone of voice.
- Ask what your child knows or thinks about the hospital. Start with what seems the most important in your child's mind.
- Use honest and simple explanations that fit your child's age and level of understanding.
- Use words and pictures that your child is familiar with when possible.
- Talk about what the hospital is with your child. For example, you might say "The hospital is a place where people of all ages go when their bodies need some help to work. The doctors and nurses know a lot about how our bones and muscles and insides work. They try to help us get well, feel better and stay healthy."
- Let your child know in advance if you know a test or procedure is about to happen, even if it is something uncomfortable like a needle. This will give your child a feeling of trust.
- Try to choose words that are neutral when describing procedures and tests to your child. For example, you might say, "The nurse will 'slide' the needle into your arm," rather than "The nurse will 'stick' or 'poke' a needle into your arm." You might want to tell your child that "During the operation the doctor will "make a small opening" into your stomach" rather than "The doctor will 'cut a hole' into your stomach."
- Try not to make promises you can't keep. For example, do not tell your child that nothing will hurt or that there won't be any blood tests.
- Tell your child how he or she may feel, before, during and after the operation, procedure or test. For example, you may want to explain to your child that he or she will not hear, see or feeling anything during the operation. The doctor will give a special sleep medicine called anesthesia before the operation. (Avoid the phrase 'put to sleep' because many children associate these words with the death of a pet.) Your child may want assurance that he or she will not feel anything during the operation or procedure.
- Tell your child about any plans for an overnight stay at the hospital. Let your child know that you will be able to sleep at the hospital, too. Encourage your child to bring his or her favorite toys to the hospital, such as a stuffed animal, pillow and videos.
- Build your child's confidence by involving them in organizing and packing a few things to help them during their visit.
- Tell your child that friends and family will be able to visit. (If your child is in an intensive care unit or under special precautions, you will need to talk with your nurse about visitors.)
- Encourage your child to ask you and the doctors and nurses lots of questions. If your child is uneasy about asking questions, you can ask for him or her.
- Ask your child questions to make sure he or she understands what you have said. It is important to make sure your child understands that he or she is going to the hospital to have something checked or fixed.
- Let your child know that it is okay to feel many different ways about going to the hospital, for example, curious, worried, angry or frustrated.
- Listen to your child's feelings, and help him or her talk about them. You can help your child express feelings through words, play, drawing or painting. Medical play kits can be used with dolls, puppets or stuffed animals to help your child become more comfortable with health care procedures. Your child may also enjoy "playing doctor" or "hospital" with you, friends or family members.
- Check out Arthur's Guide to Children's Hospital Boston with your child.
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A child's personality, language development and ability to understand information affect his or her understanding of the hospital or a procedure.
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Remember, since children develop at different rates, these guidelines may not describe your child exactly.
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- Newborn to 2-years old. When your child is very young, concentrate on preparing yourself for the hospital. If parents feel at ease, their child is usually able to sense this and react in the same way.
- 2-years old to 3-years old. At this age, children do not understand time in the same way as older children and adults. Talk with your doctor, nurse or child life specialist about how you think your child will manage best in the hospital setting. Consider telling your child about his or her operation or procedure one or two days before going to the hospital.
- 3-years old to 6-years old. At these ages, children are beginning to learn about the days of the week and are developing a sense of time. It is hard for a child to understand why he or she needs an operation or procedure. Your child may worry that he or she has done something wrong. Reassure your child that the hospital stay is about having something fixed and is never a punishment. Use simple, short explanations. Consider telling your 3 or 4-year old child about an operation or procedure one to two days before going to the hospital. Consider telling your 5- or 6-year old child three to five days ahead of time.
- 7-years old to 11-years old. At this age, a child is able to understand the reason for a hospital stay or procedure. In addition, children have developed a sense of time. You may want to tell your child about his or her operation or procedure seven days before going to the hospital. This will give your child plenty of time to ask questions and to talk about any worries he or she may have about going to the hospital.
- 12-years old to adult years. At this age, it is best to include children in planning for the operation or procedure from the beginning. Encourage your child to ask questions and to talk about his or her worries about the hospital. Most children are struggling for independence from their parents while at the same time seeking their support. You may want to ask your child how you can help him or her through the hospital stay or procedure.
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If your child seems unusually worried and frightened about the hospitalization, you may want your child to see a counselor. Your child may show signs of worry or fear by not sleeping or eating well, expressing frightening ideas about the hospital, becoming quiet and withdrawn or becoming aggressive and angry. The Children's Medical Coping Clinic provides evaluations, treatment and support for children and families facing hospitalization and other health care concerns. At the clinic, you will meet with a psychologist or psychiatrist to discuss your concerns, ask questions and learn more about how to help your child. You can make an appointment in the clinic by calling 617-355-6688.
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To learn more about preparing for the hospital or other health care topics, please call the Center for Families at 617-355-6279. Child Life Specialists at 617-355-6551, are also available to speak to you about preparing your child.
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Ways to help you through your stay
Helping children cope when a brother or sister has health care needs
Preparing to go home after a hospitalization or procedure
Getting yourself ready for your child's health care experience
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