As part of a class project, Katie Rozenas wrote a journal throughout her junior year of high school. Below are excerpts that show the challenges she faced trying to succeed in school while battling what she first thought was weight gain related to overeating and stress. She would find out during the course of the year that she had Cushing's disease and that in order to get cured she would have to undergo brain surgery.
11/30/07
Yesterday, I decided to join Weight Watchers. I used to be very, very skinny, just last year. I was a lot skinnier than I am now. But with all the stress of sophomore year and my grades, I used to go home and eat and eat, then my metabolism slowed and I put on a lot of weight. It was really hard for me because I have always been skinny and my parents told me to stop eating so much junk food, but I didn't listen. And with all my after school activities and homework, it's very hard for me to find time to exercise. So I have decided to do something about it because there is no time like the present. So I'm doing the Flex Point Plan. And I am going to go to the meetings every Thursday. And before the end of the school year I'm going to lose a lot of weight. And I'm not only going to look better, but I'm going to feel better also. Because I'm determined to look like I used to look. I know it will be hard, but I know I can do it if I want it bad enough, which I do.
12/17/07
If I could create a holiday, it would be national I Don't Care Day. On this day, no one would judge anyone on the way they look or what they wear. On this day, you can be fat, ugly, skinny, pretty, short, tall or whatever and no one will say anything to you. No one will judge what you wear or anything.
That would be a good holiday.
1/25/08
I have recently lost four pounds in the last week and I have been really working out a lot, so I think I'm burning a lot of fat. So luckily I'm seeing some results, because I am working my butt off like you don't even know. So I'm going to keep working hard. I want to lost at least 20 pounds by May. So I will do it.
2/7/08
I wish I never put on so much weight. I wish I could go back in time when I was thin and tell myself what the future me would look like, because then I could change the future and still have my personality but be as thin as I was. I know I write about my weight a lot, but I hate how I got so heavy so fast all because of stress and school. I started getting straight A's, but I also started to eat because I was so stressed and I didn't have time to work out and of course I didn't eat too healthy, so I packed on the pounds. And now I regret it so much.
Now I eat healthy and walk on the treadmill for an hour, do crunches and other exercises every day. I wish I would have done it earlier.
2/8/08
This weekend I hope will be a relaxing one. I do have to read and study for my upcoming history test Monday, but I hope I don't have much more to do. Because I have just been going and going all month and it would be nice to relax for a while. I will walk on the treadmill definitely when I get home, but I think after that I will do my homework and then clean the house a little, but then chill out for a while. I need some me time.
3/3/08
On Saturday I had to go with my future sister-in-law and mother and bridesmaids to get our bridesmaid dresses. I didn't want to go because everyone else is so skinny, but I had to go. It sucked. I picked out my dress and it's pretty, but it was a waste of a day for me because I plan on losing weight, because I found out why I gained so much and can't lose it. It's because I have a health problem.
3/14/08
I went Tuesday for blood work and found out Wednesday that I have Cushing's disease. What this means is I have a tumor on my pituitary gland, which regulates my cortisol. My cortisol levels are most likely too high. I go for an MRI next Wednesday, and my mom wants to get a second opinion at Children's Hospital Boston, and then I'll probably have surgery to remove the tumor.
I will admit I'm a little scared, but I really want to get better and I'm willing to do anything to get rid of it. But I'm glad I figured out what is wrong with me and it's not my fault.
5/14/08
Yesterday at church I got blessed by the priest in front of the church. He anointed me with holy oil then said a special prayer for me, then he had everyone raise their hands over me. It was a very nice mass.
5/16/08 - MY SURGERY DATE!
My reflection on my junior year. Well, this year had its ups and downs. It has been a hard year medical wise with me having Cushing's and not knowing what was wrong with me. And going through all the dieting and the ridicule from my friends and family about my weight gain, while trying to keep my grades up. Then with the pressure of taking an A.P. course, it seems like I was always doing history homework. And then with Academic Decathlon and Girl Scouts, I would have to say my junior year was one of the hardest years that I had in high school, both mentally and physically.
With my dog dying and missing school for appointments and going from being stick thin and pretty to being overweight and ugly took its toll on me. Every day seemed to be a struggle, getting dressed and dealing with my appearance and worrying about what other people thought.
But this year had some ups too. I managed to keep my grades up and I got a new laptop and a puppy. I also met some new people and made some new friends. I challenged myself and still got good grades. I learned not to judge other people and I learned who my true friends are and who will always stick by me.
I learned I am a strong person and I can make it through anything. I learned sometimes you need to forgive but never forget.
And one of the most important things I learned is that my parents will always be there for me and they will do anything for me and that they love me very much. And I also learned that I am liked by a lot of people and that a lot of people care about me and I really appreciate that.
And that was my junior year 2007-2008. :-)
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