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Spotlight: Children's Memorial Service

lthough Children’s Hospital Boston strives to provide the best possible care for sick children, there are times when a patient dies and his or her family must begin the difficult grieving process. One small way Children’s tries to continue to care for those families is by bringing staff and families together to remember the child at the hospital’s annual Memorial Service.

“Some hospitals hold services only for staff, and others hold them only for families,” says Larry Rhein, MD, who, along with other medical house staff members, initiated the Children’s Memorial Service seven years ago. “But this service is meant to be a reunion for families and staff to remember and to celebrate the lives of these children. I think that’s what makes it unique and special.”

Invitations to the hour-long service are sent to family members whose child has died in the preceding two years. Held at the nearby Harvard Medical School Courtyard Café, the service includes songs, readings, and a ceremony where each family receives a flower and, after reading their child’s name, adds it to a growing arrangement. Many families find consolation knowing their child has not been forgotten by those who cared for him or her, and that there are others who share in their grief.

In past years, some families have traveled from as far away as Italy and California to attend. “There is a pull for many of these families to come back because this is the last place their child was,” says Paula Langone, a nurse in the Center for Families. “The service is really important.”

Carolyn and Mark Koenig traveled from their home in California to Boston last year to attend the service in memory of their teenage son Eugene. “We attended the Memorial Service about seven months after Eugene passed away,” they said. “We especially appreciated seeing and talking with the staff who did so much for Eugene and for us while he was a patient. It was a unique opportunity for us to express our appreciation personally. The whole experience was so special that we plan to come again this year with our daughter and Eugene's grandfather.”

This year, the service will commemorate 347 children. Last year more than 200 family members attended, representing 52 patients. The Memorial Service organizers— who include Child Life Specialists, members of the Pastoral Care Department, social workers, residents and nurses—encourage all Children’s staff to attend.

“It’s important to have at least one staff person there who can connect with the family of each patient who has died,” says Maura O’Connell, a social worker in the Center for Families. “When the families are here, some are still grieving and don’t want to talk to anyone, but most are here looking for someone with whom they can connect.”

In many cases it’s not just the clinical staff who knew the patient or touched the lives of the patient’s family in some way. There’s no way of knowing who meant something to a particular family or patient, so all Children’s staff are invited to attend the service.

“The chance to connect with someone who knew their child can help families feel that their child lives on in their shared memories,” says service coordinator Christy Ullrich, MD.
This year’s Memorial Service will be held on Tuesday, June 15, at 6:15 p.m. in the Harvard Medical School Courtyard Café. All employees are welcome to attend. Questions about the service can be directed to Christy Ullrich at christina.ullrich@childrens.harvard.edu.