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Children’s Hospital Boston strives to provide the best possible
care for sick children, there are times when a patient dies and
his or her family must begin the difficult grieving process. One
small way Children’s tries to continue to care for those families
is by bringing staff and families together to remember the child
at the hospital’s annual Memorial Service.
“Some hospitals hold services only for staff, and others
hold them only for families,” says Larry Rhein, MD,
who, along with other medical house staff members, initiated the
Children’s Memorial Service seven years ago. “But this
service is meant to be a reunion for families and staff to remember
and to celebrate the lives of these children. I think that’s
what makes it unique and special.”
Invitations to the hour-long service are sent to family members
whose child has died in the preceding two years. Held at the nearby
Harvard Medical School Courtyard Café, the service includes
songs, readings, and a ceremony where each family receives a flower
and, after reading their child’s name, adds it to a growing
arrangement. Many families find consolation knowing their child
has not been forgotten by those who cared for him or her, and that
there are others who share in their grief.
In past years, some families have traveled from as far away as
Italy and California to attend. “There is a pull for many
of these families to come back because this is the last place their
child was,” says Paula Langone, a nurse in
the Center for Families. “The service is really important.”
Carolyn and Mark Koenig traveled from their home in California
to Boston last year to attend the service in memory of their teenage
son Eugene. “We attended the Memorial Service about seven
months after Eugene passed away,” they said. “We especially
appreciated seeing and talking with the staff who did so much for
Eugene and for us while he was a patient. It was a unique opportunity
for us to express our appreciation personally. The whole experience
was so special that we plan to come again this year with our daughter
and Eugene's grandfather.”
This year, the service will commemorate 347 children. Last year
more than 200 family members attended, representing 52 patients.
The Memorial Service organizers— who include Child Life Specialists,
members of the Pastoral Care Department, social workers, residents
and nurses—encourage all Children’s staff to attend.
“It’s important to have at least one staff person there
who can connect with the family of each patient who has died,”
says Maura O’Connell, a social worker in
the Center for Families. “When the families are here, some
are still grieving and don’t want to talk to anyone, but most
are here looking for someone with whom they can connect.”
In many cases it’s not just the clinical staff who knew the
patient or touched the lives of the patient’s family in some
way. There’s no way of knowing who meant something to a particular
family or patient, so all Children’s staff are invited to
attend the service.
“The chance to connect with someone who knew their child
can help families feel that their child lives on in their shared
memories,” says service coordinator Christy Ullrich,
MD.
This year’s Memorial Service will be held on Tuesday, June
15, at 6:15 p.m. in the Harvard Medical School Courtyard Café.
All employees are welcome to attend. Questions about the service
can be directed to Christy Ullrich at
christina.ullrich@childrens.harvard.edu.
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